Mr. Christopher and Penny are eating popcorn as they watch Penny's computer monitor.

MR. CHRISTOPHER: "OK, so where are these BARDS of BUFFOONERY?"

PENNY: "I don't know. Bob, hey Surfer Bob, are you guys gonna do this thing or what?"

SURFER BOB: "SHHH!!!! PENNY!!!! This is all part of the process! I'm still getting' inta wardrobe and ole' Accountant Bill is breakin' his leg or centerin' himself or finding his motivation…ya know all that theatrical mumbo jumbo. The show'll start in a jiffy! You two just make yerselves comfortable and save me some of that there popcorn!"

MR. CHRISTOPHER: "Oh yeah, Bob! Don't worry…we'll try to remember to save you some! That is…I'll save you what's left from what I don't throw at the screen!" (Mr. C says as he stuffs a big handful into his mouth)

SURFER BOB: "Hardee har har, Christopher. This show's gonna be like nothing you hombres have ever seen!

MR. CHRISTOPHER: "Oh, I'm sure of that."

SURFER BOB: "Now where did I put those flip-flops…hmmm…gotta be here somewhere…"

PENNY: "Hey Gang! Surfer Bob has just returned from a fact finding trip to China and has promised to present us, along with the assistance of his brother Accountant Bill, with an authentic Chinese opera. Pull up a chair. I wish I could offer you some popcorn, but I fear what would happen to me if I were to try to pull it away from Mr. C!"

MR. CHRISTOPHER: "MMM…POPCORN GOOD."

ACCOUNTANT BILL: "Hmmm…yes…well…excuse me…um…ladies and…well…um…gentlemen. My name…well…um…is…well…Won Too Twee…and I…um…well…am…the…well…Senior Mathematical Advisor to our hero…um…the great warrior of truth…um…Hee So Fat."

SURFER BOB: "Hear ye…Hear ye…Hear ye! I, warrior Hee So Fat, implore all you Chinese Muchachos to avoid the DASTARDLY and WICKED ole' lies of that Evildoer…Emperor Wong Words."

ACCOUNTANT BILL: "Ummm…yes…the…um…Hee So Fat has spoken."

SURFER BOB: "For too many years Emperor Wong Words has spread false truths and lies across my beloved China. He speaks of happiness and long life…happiness in the things of this world…in money and objects…and long life through dead-end religions. He has told the people of China that there IS NO GOD."

ACCOUNTANT BILL: "Yes…um…yes…Hee So Fat speaks accurately and with great…um…knowledge…and…um…well…conviction."

SURFER BOB: "But, the truth is that there is a God and His Son is Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is and always will be the King of kings…He is the one true Emperor of China."

ACCOUNTANT BILL: "Here…here…truly…Christ is…well…um…is…
the…um…ONE TRUE EMPEROR!"

SURFER BOB: "But alas, I get before myself…or ahead of myself…or…well, you know what I mean. Please gaze upon the beauty and diversity of my fair land. Understand my people and their culture."

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ACCOUNTANT BILL: "Run away…run away! Here comes the…umm…the wicked and…um…well… evil…um…false emperor, Wong Words!" (Bill exits frame)

SURFER BOB (as Hee So Fat): "Fear not, Won Too, I have all that we need to protect the land, our beloved China, from the dastardly designs of the false emperor. This is the gospel…the true Word of God."

SURFER BOB (as Wong Words): "Who doth defy me with words of treason? China belongs to me. Part from me…before I make you to part from this world…infidel!"

SURFER BOB (as Hee So Fat): "Your speech is mighty MIGHTY, Wong Words. And, your words are oh so big. But, real power comes from the true Word. The Word of God. Listen, oh evil one. Revelation 17:14 says, 'They will make war against the Lamb, but the Lamb will ovecome them because He is Lord of lords and King of kings-and with Him will be His called, chosen and faithful followers'."

SURFER BOB (as Wong Words): "Say what you will, oh weak warrior. CHINA IS STILL MINE!!!!"

SURFER BOB (as Hee So Fat): "Not for long, you fiendish foe of the Father. Watch and see what I mean!"

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SURFER BOB (as Wong Words): "Ahhhh!!!!! NO…NOT MY KINGDOM!!!! NOT MY THRONE!!!!"

ACCOUNTANT BILL: "And, so it happens…Wong Words will be driven from his ancient throne…the true Emperor of China will be made known. He will ascend to His throne and smite the wicked. Every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord."

SURFER BOB: "Wong Words is defeated by bearers of truth…like me…the RIGHTEOUS and BRAVE and BRILLIANT…HEE SO FAT!!!!"

ACCOUNTANT BILL: "And…um…well…pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Umm…Proverbs…umm…well…um…16:umm…18. But…well…that is…umm…another…well…opera for…um…well…for another day. The End."

MR. CHRISTOPHER: "Bravisimo!!!!! Brilliant!!!! Fantastic!!!!"

PENNY: "That was, well, interesting, you two."

MR. CHRISTOPHER: "And, full of wisdom. It is true, gang, China does belong to the one true Emperor…to the King of kings, Jesus Christ. But, bringing that news to China is going to require all of us to chip in and help with the task at hand!"

PENNY: "Yep! Each of us can be 'bearers of the truth'…in the words of Surfer Bob, aka Hee So Fat. You can be a bearer of the truth!"

MR. CHRISTOPHER: "You sure can! Pray for China! Help mission efforts in China by giving to the Lottie Moon Christmas Offering® and tithing through the Cooperative Program. And, pray about one day going to China, yourself, bringing a Christian witness to the lost!"

PENNY: "Oh, Mr. C, this came off of the printer for you. It is an autographed picture of Surfer Bob. I guess he thinks that he is a star now."

MR. CHRISTOPHER: "Oh, great…I needed something to wipe this popcorn grease off with!"

SURFER BOB: "Now Billy-boy, I'm not bein' critical…it's just that your entrance could have used a little work. When I was at the John Wayne Institute they taught me how to emote, how to have stage presence. Here, watch this…'Well now I tell ya, we've got ta get that posse out there before sunset…'. See that? See the presence?…the emotional fortitude. Breathe from within yerself and exhale to yer audience. Come on…breathe in…and out…in…and out."

®Lottie Moon Christmas Offering is a registered trademark of Woman’s Missionary Union.